


12:45

by WhiteMare



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Flirting, Childhood Trauma, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Some humor if you squint, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Swearing, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, netflix teen drama au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:55:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteMare/pseuds/WhiteMare
Summary: Every year the theatre group present a new play. This year Wooyoung decided to go because Yeosang made him to. The play is based on Yeosang's favourite book. Woo couldn't say no.Wooyoung sees San on stage. Gets weird feelings. Stomach clenches. The heart starts pounding. Head spins.Wooyoung can't sleep at night. Thoughts are rushing. Life turning itself upside down. Decides to ask for advice from the person who's already been through this.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Original Character(s), Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, a glimpse of Woosang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Intro/teaser

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everybody! Although I have written fics before, this is my first fic here and my first Ateez fic. English is not my first language. Hope you'll enjoy it. :)
> 
> please be nice to me <3
> 
> My dearest friend and soulmate is my (beta) reader: [mi](http://twitter.com/sanflohwa)
> 
> More info on the characters: https://twitter.com/gertrudelele/status/1346168962397204489

"Seonghwa... How... When.. did you realise you were gay?"  
"Truth be told, I knew the moment I saw Hongjoong."

********

_The tough-look started when he was just a kid. From bullying at school to bullying at home. From the way he dressed to the way he spoke. Always not good enough. Always the pain in everyone's asses. But the little one only craved for love._

_He met Hongjoong in art class. The first time he saw him, Seonghwa was left out of breath. The way Hongjoong carried himself screamed_ freedom _. Hwa wanted to be like that. Without a single doubt, without a single care in the world, without the fear of failing everyone._

_Hongjoong was easy to talk to, he was fun to be around with. It lifted Seonghwa’s spirits. They started hanging out regularly doing stuff and talking about stuff the teenage boys do._

_Hongjoong has woken up the rebellious side of Seonghwa. Hwa was scared as hell, but he was enjoying it because Hongjoong was by his side. They told each other their deepest secrets, they shared pain and hurt. But what Hongjoong failed to notice was the way Seonghwa was looking at him. Pure admiration, love, and sparkles. Seonghwa knew he was whipped for Hongjoong. But promised to keep it so deep inside his heart and take this secret to his grave. He couldn't risk losing Hongjoong. Not when he made Seonghwa find the joy in living. Not when Hongjoong made the bullying stop. Not when Hongjoong was his protector and saviour…_

********

"Wait... You love Hongjoong?" Wooyoung asked surprised.  
"Always have, always will," he finished his cigarette.  
"But why aren't you telling him?" Wooyoung couldn't understand. He saw the way Hongjoong and Seonghwa talked to each other. The secret glances they shared. The "innocent" hand-holding, hugs. How powerful they are together.  
"It's better this way," cut Seonghwa. "He needs to find himself first. He needs to learn what he wants from life and what living means to him. I know he knows how I feel about him, but he is not ready to face that. I'll always be there for him, waiting for him. Even if he ends up not choosing me." The sadness in his voice was almost unbearable.  
"But it's hurting you, Hwa. Why..?  
"You'll realise it someday." He didn't let Wooyoung finish his question. He lit another cigarette in the meantime.

"Anyway, why did you ask in the first place?" Seonghwa softly smiled and looked Wooyoung in the eyes. The younger boy was mesmerised by Seonghwa. He felt like they were close friends, but only now he realises that he doesn't know him at all. Wooyoung wanted to know more, to understand more. He likes this Seonghwa, the caring type one. The one with a sincere smile on his face and galaxies in his eyes. The sparkly Seonghwa. When the rising sun highlights his features. Even with a burning cigarette in between his lips. Wooyoung wanted to be like Seonghwa one day. Full of wisdom and sincerity.

"I..." Wooyoung started and deeply sighed. "I have a crush on Yeosang." He blurted. 

Seonghwa just laughed, "So what's new? I knew it for a whole while."  
Wooyoung’s eyes got ten times bigger. "You did?!" He whelped. "But how?!" 

Seonghwa smiled knowingly. "You're not here for Yeosang, are you?"

Wooyoung was going crazy in his head. Thoughts rushing, screaming different things, and growing louder and louder. Painful confusion was written all over his face. He sighed again.  
"No. I'm not. I mean," he stuttered. "I mean, in a way, yes, but also no." He looked at his arms resting on his knees. The silence filled the air and with another deep breath he blurted out all his troubles.

"Remember the time when I didn't want to hang out with Yeosang anymore?" Hwa nodded and Wooyoung continued. "I started feeling weird about him. Every time he hugged me, or put his head on my shoulder, or held my hand I felt weird. My heart would start racing, I couldn't properly breathe. And it really scared me. A lot." Another moment of silence passed. "But me distancing myself from Yeosang didn't help at all. I was just so angry all the time."

"And yesterday. We went to see the play at school. And there was this guy. He looked so beautiful. He looked like the god himself stepped on us mortals. The way he moved, the way he acted. I got all these feelings again. But they were so much stronger. I've never felt this way around any other person, Hwa. What is happening to me?" He whispered the last part. The tears were slowly gathering in his eyes. 

"Oh, Wooyoung," Seonghwa whispered, hugging his younger friend. The moment was so intimate that anything above whispering felt like it would crush them both. "I can not say it for you. You know what it is. But you have to admit it yourself. You are the only one who needs to say it." A single tear rolled down Seonghwa’s cheek. He remembered himself a few years ago, scared of the realisation. Scared that if he admitted, his whole world would collapse. But it didn't. He turned out completely fine. And most importantly he felt _free_. Completely free and honest to himself.

"Seonghwa," Wooyoung looked his friend in the eyes. Cheeks were shiny from tears and glistening in the sun. "Am I gay?"

********

When Wooyoung got home the sun was beaming up high in the sky. The city around him was oozing with people, everybody was in a rush. The world was loud. But for the first time in a while, Wooyoung’s mind was calm and peaceful. No screaming thoughts, no self-doubt. He finally was at peace with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Tell me if you want more? 
> 
> Kudos and comments will be appreciated <3
> 
> Here is my twitter, you can chat with me there :) [twitter](http://twitter.com/gertrudelele)


	2. The night we met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s the boy, huh?” Seonghwa came from behind and softly smiled at Wooyoung.  
> “I don’t know what you're talking about,” the younger boy whispered, eyes still locked on the black haired boy. For a glimpse second their eyes met and seconds grew syrupy and thick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me again! 
> 
> So basically this chapter follows the events of the teaser. I really hope you'll enjoy it :)
> 
> My dearest friend and soulmate is my (beta) reader: [mi](http://twitter.com/sanflohwa) <3

The day was sunny and warm. Students were having trouble concentrating in classes and everybody spent their breaks outside. Since winter was slowly approaching, people were enjoying the last warm days of autumn. 

“Yeosangie,” Wooyoung chirped and hugged his friend from behind.  
“What put you in such a good mood today, huh?” Yeosang smiled.  
“Let’s just say I’ve come to terms with my demons.” Wooyoung proudly said, smiling from ear to ear.  
“Oh, so you finally realized you’re gay?” Yeosang was biting his lip while trying not to laugh.  
“Yup!” he cheered. “Wait, what? How did-” Wooyoung pouted.  
“You hang out with 6 other gays. Trust me, we know.” The older one just bursted out laughing.  
“Jesus Christ,” the younger one just shook his head.  
“Why are we so happy today?” Hongjoong asked while hugging the other two and sitting next to them.  
“Wooyoung finally admitted he’s gay.” Yeosang cheered.  
“Ah, really? Took you long enough,” Hongjoong smiled.  
Wooyoung just pouted again, “Hey, it was my thing to tell.” He playfully punched Yeosang’s arm.  
“Okay, okay, okay. Sorry,” The older boys just laughed. 

Soon Seonghwa, Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho joined. The boys were complaining and making jokes about school, teachers, parents. Everything was warm once again. 

******

“Hey, Wooyoung!” Mingi shouted from across the corridor. “Are you coming to Yejun’s party this Friday?” The boy asked after reaching his friend.  
“Yejun? The guy who lives in that palace-looking house?”  
“Yup, that’s the one,” Mingi replied.  
“If you are going, then yes,” the younger smiled.  
Mingi just laughed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll make sure the others are coming too.”

*****

The boys were fashionably late but it was an unwritten rule between them. There is no point in coming earlier and then waiting for everyone to show up. The best timing to come is after the majority in there are already drunk. 

The boys caught the sight of the host, Yejun, near the stairway to the second floor. Yejun was a year older than Hongjoong and that’s about all Wooyoung knew.  
“Hello hello,” Yejun approached the group, Wooyoung didn’t fail to notice how the older guy looked Hongjoong up and down. “I see you brought some friends,” he said with a devilish grin while fist-bumping Mingi. “Well, be my guests. Drinks are somewhere over there.” He gestured towards the kitchen. “Enjoy my party,” he added with the same devilish grin. Wooyoung also noticed when he winked at Hongjoong and mentally gagged. He didn’t like Yejun much. He was a rich parents’ kid. He pretended to be posh when in reality, there was nothing special about him. And that grin on his face made Wooyoung’s back hair stand up. 

Wooyoung was chatting with one of his classmates. The conversation wasn’t really interesting, but he had to get some social-karma points. He glanced along the corridor trying to spot his other friends when he noticed the person he expected to see the least.

The black hair covered his eyes a bit, the small grin suited him well. Wooyoung watched as the boy was going through the sea of people and greeting some of them. The black skinny jeans and black top fitted him so perfectly. And his leather jacket just made Wooyoung’s breath lose its way somewhere in-between the lungs and the throat. He didn’t even notice his conversation partner leaving.

“That’s the boy, huh?” Seonghwa came from behind and softly smiled at Wooyoung.  
“I don’t know what you're talking about,” the younger boy whispered, eyes still locked on the black-haired boy. For a glimpse second their eyes met and seconds grew syrupy and thick.

Wooyoung was back again at the play. His cheeks started to burn, heart rate increased. All the oxygen from the room was gone.  
“I need some fresh air,” he mumbled and quickly went outside. 

“His name is San,” Seonghwa giggled following his younger friend.  
Wooyoung just grunted, “I…” He sighed, “Don’t,” he pleaded.  
Seonghwa just laughed. “You should talk to him, you know? Got nothing to lose,” he teased.  
“Urgh, stop!” Wooyoung whined, still trying to get himself back together.  
“Hey look, he’s coming this way!” The older cooed.  
“Hwa, no!” Wooyoung was desperately trying to find a way to get away from the situation. Eyes frantically looking for some escape.  
“Hey, San!” Seonghwa yelled. _Oh no, no, no._ Wooyoung’s arm started trembling and palms got sweaty. “Have you met my friend?” And just like that, Seonghwa was gone and out of sight. Wooyoung was left all alone, with this boy, San, who had Woo's knees weak.  
“Hi, I’m San.” The boy smiled. _A million-dollar smile. Eyes like crescents, rosy cheeks… He was glowing._  
“I-” he cleared his throat. “I’m Wooyoung. Nice to meet you,” he managed a smile. A moment of awkward silence passed by. Wooyoung couldn’t stop staring as nervousness grew inside him.  
“Nice jacket.” Wooyoung blurted and mentally slapped himself. _Really? Oh really now? Out of all the things. Nice jacket?!!!_  
The other boy just giggled. It was so sincere. The giggle was like the sound of heavenly bells ringing softly and gloriously. Wooyoung’s heart was starting to go into overdrive.  
“Thanks,” San answered with the biggest smile on his face. “I don’t think I’ve seen you much around the school.”  
“I mostly hang around with my friends,” he managed to put up another smile. “I saw your play last week,” he blurted. _You looked like a god._ “You looked pretty cool.”  
“You did? Oh, thanks!” Wooyoung could swear that the other’s smile got even wider.  
Someone called San from the inside.  
“I’ll see you around, yeah? It was nice meeting you!” The boy chirped.  
“Yeah, you too,” Wooyoung muffled, San already gone. 

Eventually Wooyoung found his way back to the drinks table.  
“So how did it go?” Seonghwa asked teasingly.  
The younger boy just grumbled, “Never ever put me in a situation like that again. I lost my shit back there.”  
Seonghwa just laughed. “If that’s your way of saying thank you, I’ll accept.”  
“Fuck you,” Wooyoung pouted. But hearing Seonghwa laugh, made him smile too. “Where are the others anyway?”  
“Last I saw, everybody was dancing over there.” he nodded his head to the right.

Wooyoung followed Seonghwa’s gaze. All the boys were dancing in the middle of the living room along with another hundred people. 

They finally managed to reach their friends. The music was blasting and everybody was having a fun time. After a couple of songs, Wooyoung tried to ask if someone wanted another drink. He turned around trying to get to Seonghwa and noticed how the older boy completely froze. His cheeky smile turned into a devastating frown. 

Wooyoung turned around and easily spotted the reason for such a reaction. Hongjoong was tangled all over Yejun’s body. Their lips connected, moving in sync, hands all over each other. Wooyoung felt his heart shatter for Seonghwa. When he turned back to his older friend, he was nowhere in sight. Eventually, he spotted the raven-head in the doorway.  
“I swear to god, why is the whole fucking school in this room,” Wooyoung angrily muttered while trying to get through the sea of people. 

When he eventually caught up, they were a few houses away from the party.  
“Hwa!” He tried to get the older's attention. “Wait up!”  
“Wooyoung, please. I need to be alone.” The sadness in the voice was unbearable.  
“But - ” the younger wasn’t planning to give up on his friend that easily.  
“NO!” Seonghwa cut him shortly. “I’ll be fine. Just go.” 

Wooyoung stopped in his tracks and slowly watched his friend going wherever his eyes led him. Seonghwa’s words echoing in his head: _“I'll always be there for him, waiting for him. Even if he ends up not choosing me."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! More parts coming soon <3
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated <3
> 
> Here is my twitter, you can chat with me there :) [twitter](http://twitter.com/gertrudelele)


	3. I feel nice too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was nice to finally talk to you properly, instead of a simple hello or goodbye." San chuckled. 
> 
> "Yeah, I feel nice too." He stumbled. "I mean, I had a great time talking to you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back with a new chapter! 
> 
> Don't be shy to leave some comments! I really hope you'll enjoy it :)
> 
> My dearest friend and soulmate is my (beta) reader: [mi](http://twitter.com/sanflohwa) <3

After the party things got weird. In a few weeks Hongjoong officially declared Yejun as his boyfriend. The news broke Seonghwa even more. He built an invisible wall around him, even the boys couldn’t get underneath it. He was back at his own tough shell even around his closest friends. 

The younger boys were having a hard time. Exams were just around the corner, everybody was busy. They needed each other’s support more than any other time, but it was hard, considering that their two biggest supporters were not really _there_.

When Hongjoong would come to the hangouts, Yejun was always with him. It took a toll on Seonghwa, who was always trying to show that it didn’t bother him one bit. The tension was always in the air leaving everyone uneasy. 

*******

Today was one of those rare days when Hongjoong decided to join the others after school. For the first time in a long while, he actually showed up alone. Finally it felt like the group was back. The way it was always supposed to be.

“Wait wait wait!” Wooyoung screamed out of nowhere. “Listen up,” he took a deep breath. “It’s not easy to say this, but I’ve decided to try my chances at the school’s dance group.”

His friends stared in shock digesting the information.   
“You what?!” screamed Yunho. “Finally!” He gave Wooyoung the biggest hug. Yeosang proudly patted his friend’s shoulder.

“They are having auditions next month, anyone is welcome to come and watch.” Wooyoung took another deep breath. “I would like you all to be there.” He finished. Everybody was smiling and cheering. They all promised to come and support their best friend but it wasn’t enough. 

“Hongjooong,” he began, “look me in the eyes, and promise me you’ll come. I’m still pissed that you didn’t come to help me with the cover video.” Wooyoung looked at the older boy softly, but eyes were showing disappointment. 

“Hey, no hard feelings, alright? I heard you did well without me,” the older winked. “San was there to help you, wasn’t he?”

Wooyoung blushed, but kept staring his older friend in the eyes. “It’s not about that. You had promised me you'd help.”

“I know, I’m really sorry. Truly.” Hongjoong’s eyes showed a glimpse of guilt. “I promise, I will come to your audition.” he finally smiled. 

“A’ight.” Wooyoung nodded and the conversation moved to other topics. 

******

“You never told me San helped you with the cover,” Yeosang said with a smirk, both on their way home.

“I didn’t think it was important,” Wooyoung blushed.   
“Jung Wooyoung!” Yeosang started acting as if he was hurt. “My best friend finally does something with his crush and thinks it’s not important for _ME_ to know?! How dare you?!” he punched Wooyoung’s arm. 

“It was nothing really,” the younger one started to defend himself, but noticed the side eye Yeosang was giving him. “Okay, fine, maybe it wasn’t,” he chuckled. 

“So I got permission from the principal to use the stage at school, right?” Yeosang nodded, confirming he’s listening. “So. I came to practice there after all the lessons were finished. I thought no one was at school anymore, right? And then, in the middle of my dancing, I see San standing in the doorway."

_Music stopped abruptly and Wooyoung was giving him a death glare. This day wasn’t going well at all._

_“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.” San found his shoes the most interesting thing at that moment._

_“Yeah, ever heard of personal space?” Wooyoung snapped, eyes fixed on the boy he so desperately liked. No one was supposed to see him dancing. He wasn’t ready. Not yet._

_“I’m sorry, I should go.” San just nodded without raising his gaze to the boy in front of him. Wooyoung’s head was in chaos. He wanted San to stay, but he also wanted him to leave. He had been wanting to talk to San since the party, but he didn’t have the courage to do so. He realised this was the only chance he might get._ ‘Fuck this’ _was the last thought before he spoke again._

_“No, wait, listen.” He sighed looking at San’s back. “I’m not used to people watching me dance. People don’t even know I dance. It’s hard to explain.” He was mumbling._

_San looked over his shoulder and softly smiled. “It’s fine, really, I understand.” He was about to go through the door. Wooyoung mustered the last seconds of courage._

_“Please, stay.” Wooyoung pleaded, cheeks burning red. “I could kinda really use your help.” He added playing with his fingers._

_“You sure? Because, I could go,” San just said looking over his shoulder._

_“No really, stay.” Wooyoung just awkwardly smiled. Both stared at each other for some moments. The air was thick, Wooyoung was desperately trying to find some words to say, just to make it less awkward._

_San was the first to speak, “You said you needed my help?”_

_“Yeah, um,” Wooyoung scratched his head. It wouldn’t hurt if he told San, right? It wouldn’t hurt if San knew, right?_

_“My friend kinda stood me up. I have to film this cover today and he promised to help. But he never showed up.” San noticed the disappointment in Wooyoung’s voice, but decided not to dwell on it much._

_“So what do you want me to do?” San asked with a smile on his lips. Dear God, why did he have to be so pretty?_

_“Um, here.” He gave San his camera and told him about how he envisioned the cover to be. Wooyoung briefly explained how everything should go and San listened carefully. After some adjustments the pair began to work._

_"Please don't find this weird, considering that we haven't talked much at all. But why do you keep this side of you a secret?" San finally found the courage to ask the one question that was bugging him the whole time._

_"Parents." Wooyoung simply shrugged._

_"But you're really good at it. Your dancing is impressive!" San cheered._

_Wooyoung couldn’t tell if he felt hot from dancing or from San saying that he was actually good at it._

_"You think so?" he shyly asked, avoiding San’s gaze._

_"I know so." San proudly stated._

_Wooyoung went to sit next to him. He didn’t know where all this courage came from, but he sat a few inches closer than one would usually sit with a person you don’t really know._

_"What about you?” He wondered. “Why did you come to school in the evening?"_

_San shrugged, "I wanted to practice some lines from the new play."_

_"Oh, I see." The boy fixed his eyes on the wall across the room._

_"My parents don't approve of my interest in theatre too, you know?" Wooyoung looked at San. The boy was smiling but his eyes showed sadness. He knew this feeling way too well._

_"You can't make a career out of that." Both boys said it in mocking voices at the same time. They chuckled._

_"Yeah, heard that before," Wooyoung smiled. "But have they ever seen you perform?"_

_"No, not even once. They pretend this side of me doesn't exist. They believe I'll grow out of it," he mimicked the last part._

_Wooyoung got a little angry, "But you're so good at it! Maybe if they'd seen you for once, they would understand?"_

_"Then why don't you tell your parents about your passion for dancing?" San bit back._

_"Ah… Yes… I guess you're right." Wooyoung admitted defeat._

_The time was getting pretty late. It’s not that it was late late, but it was too late to still be at school. The boys grabbed their stuff and slowly exited the place._

_"Thanks for the help today. I really appreciate it." Wooyoung smiled before the boys went their separate ways._

_"It was nice to finally talk to you properly, instead of a simple hello or goodbye." San chuckled._

_"Yeah, I feel nice too." He stumbled. "I mean, I had a great time talking to you too." Woo finally managed to answer but burning cheeks gave away his embarrassment. San just giggled. Wooyoung could swear San giggling or laughing was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. San stared at the ground and then back at Wooyoung._

_"Can I ask you something?" he almost whispered._

_Wooyoung immediately started to think about all the possible scenarios in his head of what's about to happen after the "can I ask you something" question. He swallowed the lump in his throat._

_"Yeah, shoot." he let out a shaky breath._

_"Could we do this more often?" San asked and Wooyoung gave him a confused look._

_"Talking, I mean," San was quick to regain himself. "You seem like an interesting guy. I'd like to know you better." He shyly smiled. Wooyoung noticed San’s cheeks turning soft pink._

_"Yeah, I'd like that." The boy smiled back._

_The way home was neither short nor long. A wide grin spread across Wooyoung's face. That night he dreamed of a black haired boy who was glowing underneath the stage lighting. The audience was looking at him in awe. Then he stretched out his hand and in that moment Wooyoung realised that he was supposed to take that hand. A melancholic melody was softly playing in the background, and they danced, and danced, and danced._

"So we talked a bit, I asked for his help. And that was it." Wooyoung chirped. 

"Why do you spare all the details?!" Yeosang whined. "Did you at least get his number?"

“You could say that,” the younger boy slightly turned away from his friend.

Yeosang just sighed, “You were never a good liar.” 

_**Or was he?** _

*****

“Today is the day. I will casually walk up to him and just ask about his day.” The boy just wanted to cry and laugh at himself. “Huh, so that’s how it’s gonna be now. Talking to myself in the mirror.” He laughed in disbelief. 

He thought that maybe after their small encounter during the party and their sort of teamwork on the cover, everything will get easier. But boy, oh boy, how wrong he was. Wooyoung would cringe every time he thought of his failed attempt to speak with San a few days earlier. 

_It took every muscle in his body to walk up to San. It was lunch break and he noticed San in the corridor near the lockers. “I’ll just go and say hi,” Wooyoung thought to himself. He fixed his jacket and started walking closer. “I’ll pass by and just casually say hi.”_

_He was a few steps away, he could smell the subtle woodsy cologne. Pinetree was the first thing that came to mind. Weirdly it also reminded him of home. He could swear San didn’t smell like this at the party, or maybe he just didn’t notice? He was one step away when San turned away from his locker. It was just mere centimetres that saved them from bumping into each other. “Act cool,” he thought to himself._

_“Oh hi,” Wooyoung smiled, voice a bit higher than usual, feeling cheeks heat up._

_“Hey,” San smiled. Wooyoung just felt starstruck. How is he so flawless? And those dimples when he smiled... Wooyoung’s stomach was full with butterflies._

_“You wanted something?” San asked. “Fuck. I was supposed just to walk by. Say something now!” His brain was yelling._

_“Uhm,” his mind was completely empty. Not a single idea went through his head. “No, I mean,” he was stumbling yet again, “Yeah, I just wanted to ask, if…”_

_“Sannie!” A tall blonde guy yelled from across the corridor and walked closer to them. Wooyoung didn’t know if he was thankful or wanted to murder that guy. He was just about to ask San…_

_While San was busy greeting the guy, Wooyoung fled. If only he had seen the lingering glance San saw him off with._

He got ready way earlier than he was supposed to. He felt so on edge that he didn’t even finish his breakfast. Every bite he took was dry and impossible to swallow. 

Usually, he would always go with Yeosang. They lived pretty close by and that was their usual routine. They would meet up at Wooyoung’s and then walk to school. Today was different though. Yeosang had a doctor's appointment and most likely would miss school today. So Wooyoung was on his own. He left home early and took a longer route.

The closer he was to school the more nervous he became. He couldn’t believe himself. How possible is that one person would make you forget how to exist? The situation made him want to scream and laugh at the same time. 

The longer way didn’t do much good. It took him the same amount of time to reach the school as he would normally. He just now realised that when he’s nervous he walks faster. He took out his phone for endless scrolling while waiting for other guys to show up. Usually, Jongho comes after five minutes when Yeosang and Wooyoung do. But today Woo had extra fifteen minutes. 

He was trying to put his mind to somewhere else, but nervousness was still there creeping upon him. He realised the inevitable: if he continues to stand where he stood he might meet San before classes started. He could’ve easily walked somewhere further, but deep down he didn’t want to. While he pretended to scroll through his phone he would secretly watch every person who walked past by.

It was impossible not to notice San. Maybe for others he was just an ordinary student, but not for Wooyoung. He immediately noticed the black haired boy. He looked lost in his thoughts and looked so dreamy. Wooyoung quickly looked over his phone pretending like he didn’t see anything. He was hoping that maybe San would recognise him, but at the same time he didn’t want it at all. 

“Hi,” a soft voice spoke. He knew who this voice belonged to, he just needed to pretend that he wasn’t affected by it. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung answered while putting his hands in the pockets. _What now?_ was flashing at the back of his head.

“Waiting for someone?” the other boy asked smiling softly.

“Obviously,” said Wooyoung. He didn’t want the answer to sound this harsh, but nerves got the better of him. 

“Listen,” started the black haired boy, “I’ve been meaning to ask,” Wooyoung noticed how the tips of the boy's ears turned a bright shade of red. 

“Would you like to go for a coffee some time?” 

“Coffee?” Wooyoung asked flustered. The question caught him so off-guard he didn’t really know what to do. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he smiled back, fully aware of his own bright red cheeks. 

The moment was interrupted by Mingi shouting Wooyoung’s name from across the yard. San quickly excused himself and was gone faster than Wooyoung managed to blink. _Did he just ask me on a date? It can’t be, right?_

The whole day Wooyoung couldn’t focus, not in the slightest. Thoughts recalling the morning incident back and forth. He was so lost in his mind, that even the boys started bugging him about it. 

Later that evening he was sitting on his bed, drinking a warm cup of jasmine tea, when the vibration of his phone put him out of his head. He tried to find his phone which was lost somewhere in the sheets. 

When he finally found it, the screen lit up. The only notification in the middle of the screen was saying, _So how about that coffee?_

That night he didn’t sleep much, neither did San. They messaged for hours and hours. Wooyoung’s sleep was so long gone. He was pretty sure that adrenaline and excitement had changed the blood in his body. He learned that San likes long walks through the park, that his favorite subject was literature, that he was a sweet tooth, that he liked flowers. San was everything Wooyoung imagined him. At the same time, Wooyoung felt like San was unreal. Ethereal almost. 

By the time they eventually agreed to go to sleep, Wooyoung’s cheeks hurt from smiling. He couldn’t recall the last time he was so happy about anything. He didn’t get much sleep after all, his mind imagining a smiling San in the fields of wildflowers. 

*****

The following day, Wooyoung was nervous once again. He didn’t know how to act when he would see San. He decided to strategically avoid him at all costs. To pretend not to see him and maybe, with a chance of luck, he wouldn’t have to talk to him at all.

But it was Wooyoung and it was San. They could spot each other in a crowd of a million people. It was impossible for them not to meet. The universe itself was pulling them towards each other. 

Wooyoung was talking with Yunho about their maths test and how both of them probably failed when he spotted San coming towards them. 

“I’m sorry, but can we talk?” He said with an apologetic smile towards Yunho. Wooyoung just nodded and followed San a bit further into the corridor. 

“Is everything alright?” Wooyoung questioned after seeing San’s bewildered gazed.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I just wanted to ask if you’re free this Friday.” He chuckled again and scratched the back of his head. 

“Yeah, I think I am,” Wooyoung gushed. “Why?”

“Good,” San let out a relieved breath. “Wanna go for that coffee?” He giggled. 

“Yeah, sure. At 7?” Wooyoung tried to sound casual, but inside he was screaming.

“Yeah, 7 sounds good.” San nodded and with one last smile he walked away.

And just like that, Wooyoung was left alone standing in the corridor, blushing and smiling like crazy. At the corner of his eye he saw Yunho giving him thumbs up with the biggest smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! More parts coming soon <3
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated <3
> 
> Here is my twitter, you can chat with me there :) [twitter](http://twitter.com/gertrudelele)


	4. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yunho has a boyfriend,” he blurted, staring at nothing in front of him. He let out a shaky breath, tears finding their way back to his eyes. Yeosang just sat next to his friend and took his hand softly, drawing circles on it with his thumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, I'm back with a new part :) 
> 
> Hope you'll like it <3
> 
> My dearest friend and soulmate is my (beta) reader: [mi](http://twitter.com/sanflohwa)
> 
> More info on the characters: https://twitter.com/gertrudelele/status/1346168962397204489

It was Wooyoung and Yeosang’s traditional movie marathon evening. They knew each other the longest, so naturally, they were the closest. It wasn’t that they didn’t want the other boys around, they loved them to bits. But it was _Their_ thing. Something they’ve been doing for years, something they’ll continue doing even when they have their own families. 

They had made a nice fort from the sofa, a bunch of pillows, and blankets. Yeosang’s mum went out with her friends but she left them some delicious home-made food. They were cosily cuddling and laughing about the movie, it was peaceful and warm. They were feeding each other snacks and giggling like crazy. 

Soft moments were interrupted by a phone call. At first, Wooyoung decided to ignore it and put his phone on silent. Eventually, Yeosang lost his temper.

“Just answer it. If I hear your phone buzzing one more time, I’ll throw it at the wall.”  
Wooyoung just laughed but answered nonetheless. 

“Hello?” he giggled. But on the other end was just silent sobbing and nothing more. 

“Mingi?” he asked softly, “Are you ok?” Yeosang gave him an odd look and Wooyoung put his phone on speaker. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” his voice was quavering, even lower than usual. 

“Mingi, please, tell me what’s wrong.” Wooyoung and Yeosang shared a look. It was the first time Mingi sounded so broken. He was always the happy-go-lucky type, nothing really ever burdened him. Mingi always knew how to look for a bright side. 

“I…” his voice turned into sobbing again. 

“Do you want me to come over? I’m at Yeosang’s now, if you want you can come here.” Wooyoung didn’t know how to react or what to do. 

“My parents are at home. I don’t want them to know. I’ll see you in ten,” He muffled and hung up. 

“What was that all about?” Yeosang asked. 

“I really don’t know,” Wooyoung whispered, staring at his, now black, phone screen. 

It took more than ten minutes, but Mingi came. His eyes and face were puffy and red. When he burst in through the door he crashed Wooyoung into a hug. The poor giant was sobbing like a little baby. Slowly Wooyoung led him to the couch and they were sitting there in silence. Yeosang brought three cups of warm jasmine tea. 

“Will you tell us what happened?” Yeosang approached softly, scared that Mingi would break down again. 

“Yunho has a boyfriend,” he blurted, staring at nothing in front of him. He let out a shaky breath, tears finding their way back to his eyes. Yeosang just sat next to his friend and took his hand softly, drawing circles on it with his thumb.

Wooyoung took a moment to think. After a few seconds something clicked. Of course! It was always Mingi and Yunho. The puzzle pieces were slowly adding themselves up together. He recalled all the times Mingi would tense up and fake a smile when Yunho was boasting about the last guy he slept with, or the last guy he went on a date with. Mingi would always act weird when Yunho was dancing with someone else at the party, always overprotective, keeping an eye on Yunho. Then another imagery came to his mind. When the boys were hanging out together, playing games, or watching movies, Mingi was always glued to Yunho. They were always laughing at their own inside jokes, always buying treats and cute little things for each other. Together they made an unstoppable unit. 

“Mingi, why didn’t you tell him sooner?” Wooyoung asked, suddenly back to reality. 

“I wanted to,” the boy sniffled, “But it was never the right moment, you know? I was always waiting for when he wasn’t seeing anyone. But I was always too late.” Another tear left his eyes. 

“Mingi, sweetie, you have to tell him eventually,” Yeosang added. “The boyfriend is not a wall, you can always push him aside.” Mingi finally managed a chuckle. 

“I know, but Yunho looks very happy now.” He softly said and took a sip of his tea. 

“You should talk to Seonghwa,” Wooyoung spoke again. “He’s wise with words. He helped me, you know?”

Mingi nodded, “I know. But have you seen Hwa recently? He has bags under his eyes bigger than the whole world. His parents are pushing him to get the best grades at the exams. They want him to get into at least three best colleges in the country. And on top of that he has the Hongjoong situation going on.” 

Wooyoung and Yeosang just sighed. 

“I really don’t want to burden him more with my problems,” Mingi added silently.

“Speaking of Hongjoong,” Yeosang carefully started, “Maybe you could ask him for advice? I know he says he’s busy all the time, but once in a while he could forget that dumbass boyfriend of his and actually help his best friend.” 

“You guys also don’t like Yejun, do you?” Mingi let out something that sounded like a giggle. 

The other two boys just shook their heads left and right. 

“Not in the slightest,” Wooyoung admitted. “He has that grin on his face always. It sends shivers every time I see him.”

“And pretends to be a fancy rich piece of shit,” Yeosang added and the boys burst out laughing. 

“Do you think Hongjoongie would know what to do?” Mingi’s eyes were full of hope.

“He is smarter than he looks. Besides, he’s been through some shit before, he’ll definitely have something to say.” Yeosang smiled at his friend. 

The rest of the night was spent with a bunch of video games and all food gone from the kitchen. Wooyoung and Yeosang tried their best to lift up Mingi’s spirits and for that evening it worked. They ended up sleeping on the same couch. Wooyoung and Yeosang spooning Mingi from both sides, like a little baby. Before sleep, Mingi promised to talk to Hongjoong and with the first rays of the rising sun, the boys eventually were all asleep. 

****** 

The weather began to get colder and colder. Slowly trees were left naked and the world turned grey. In the midst of it all, there was a small ray of sunshine beaming brighter than anything else. His name was Wooyoung. 

He was sitting on his bed, head in his hands, feet firmly pressed on the ground. The world was spinning and he needed to feel grounded. Despite the weather being cold, Wooyoung was dying out of the heat. His hands were sweaty and trembling, the stomach was in knots. He physically wanted to vomit. 

It was almost 6.30 pm, but he couldn’t force himself to move. He heard a TV mumbling in the background, meaning parents were watching the evening news. He also heard mom and dad discussing something, but couldn’t make out what it was all about. 

The boy slowly stood up and slowly opened the door of his room. He walked passed the living room:

“I’m going out with a friend,” he softly said avoiding direct eye contact. The father turned his face to the boy. The gaze was fierce and a bit frightening. 

“Shouldn’t you be studying?” The father sighed. 

“It’s Friday evening, I’ll study tomorrow.” Wooyoung stated a slight annoyance lingering in his tone. 

“Your studying shouldn’t depend on the day of the week,” the father continued lecturing. Wooyoung pleadingly looked at his mom. 

“I can have a fun evening once in a while. No?” the boy questioned asking for support. Father’s face turned a bit red. He scrunched up his nose and his hands turned into fists. 

“I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful.” He scolded. The annoyance and nerves mixed up in the boy's body. He didn’t have enough time to continue this useless conversation. He took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be back at an appropriate time. I’ll study tomorrow.” And with that, Wooyoung put on his black denim jacket and stepped out into the chilly, refreshing air. He knew he was ‘impolite’ to his parents, but it was always the same conversation. Every time they reminded him to study, to be better, to be more like his older brother. Deep down he knew, they wanted him just all the best, but it didn’t feel like it. He could never be as good as his older brother. 

He was Wooyoung. A boy who loved to dance. A boy who expressed himself through flowing music. He was an artist. Theoretical school stuff never bothered him much. He could never achieve the perfect grades, the most pristine colleges, and the most paid careers. _He wasn’t born for it._

He let out a deep breath and slowly started walking. All the way to the coffee-shop he was on edge, but with every step, his smile grew bigger and bigger. 

Before he turned on the last corner, a small doubt crept in his mind. _What if San didn’t show up?_ For a second he started to dwell on it too much, but then, in the middle of the busy walkway, he saw the boy, who made the world stop. 

Wooyoung could swear, with every day, San was more and more beautiful. He was wearing a black beanie that hid his coal-coloured hair. His puffy oversized jacket made him look almost tiny and his hands were hidden somewhere in the sleeves. He just looked so _huggable_.

“Hi,” Wooyoung approached shyly and smiled. 

“Hey,” San returned the smile. The boys were awkwardly standing in the middle of the path, both unsure of what to say or do. 

“Wanna take the drinks to go and then go for a walk?” Woo suggested. He knew San liked long walks and it was the best chance to show he remembered. 

“Yeah,” San's soft giggles filled the air, “I’d like that.”

The warm drinks felt nice in the chilly weather. The park the boys walked in was a bit busy with people, but it felt nice. The sun was already down and the few dim park lights were showing the way. 

They were talking about everything and nothing. Time stopped existing for that evening. Both of the boys were so excited that they kept interrupting each other, trying to fill in each other's thoughts. 

“I had fun today,” Wooyoung softly smiled. They were standing not far away from his house. The night had gone cold and the wind started blowing harder. 

“Me too, we should do it again sometime,” San answered and smiled back. 

They were both standing, again, unsure of what to do. Neither of them really wanted to say goodbye, nor did they know how to act. A strong gust of wind sent San’s body in small shivers. 

“San,” Wooyoung almost whispered. “You are shivering,” he caressed San’s right arm. At the bottom of the sleeve, their fingers slightly brushed. Wooyoung heard San hold up a breath. 

“Yeah,” San whispered. He cleared his throat, “Well, I should be going then,” his smile returned to the face. 

“Text me when you get home,” Wooyoung nodded and took a step back. 

“I will,” San winked and turned around to walk. Wooyoung started to go to his house door, but there was this feeling that something was unfinished. He had this thought all the way home, but he chickened out. _But it still wasn’t too late, right?_

“SAN!” he yelled. San stopped in his tracks and turned around. Wooyoung almost ran up to him. “There is one thing I wanted to do, before going home.” His hands were trembling and adrenaline was rushing. He slightly put his weight on his tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on San’s cheek. 

Without saying anything, he turned around, and with the same fast pace, he returned home. Only after closing the doors he finally let out a deep breath. He peeked through the window and saw San smiling with a hand placed where Wooyoung’s lips were just a few moments ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be shy to leave comments, they truly mean a lot <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, 
> 
> Until next time <3


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